5.7.10

"Want some bacon?"
"No man, I don't eat pork."
"Are you Jewish?"
"Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all."
"Why not?"
"Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals."
"Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood."
"Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces."
"How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces."
"I don't eat dog either."
"Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?"
"I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way."
"Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?"
"Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?"


Because I spent the entire day with Samuel L. Jackson's voice saying: "Personality goes a long way" in my head.

1 comment:

alangolom said...

I could really use a Royale with cheese right now