Happy Halloween!

Wow, you're so pathetic.

"I really like you, Midori. A lot."

"How much is a lot?"

"Like a spring bear," I said.

"A spring bear?" Midori looked up. "What's that all about? A spring bear."

"You're walking through a field all by yourself one day in spring, and this sweet little bear cub with velvet fur and shiny little eyes comes walking along. And he says to you, 'Hi, there, little lady. Want to tumble with me?' So you and the bear cub spend the whole day in each other's arms, tumbling down this clover-covered hill. Nice, huh?"

"Yeah. Really nice."

"That's how much I like you."

Norwegian Wood; Haruki Murakami

I want to love everything about you that hurts.

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

Just getting up for the let down.

Newest celebrity crush: Jesse Eisenberg.

[I watched Zombieland today, by the way.]

I just watched the intros to all of my favorite cartoons when I was little and now I'm singing along to the theme of Boy Meets World.

It's amazing how many ways I can be unproductive.

I hope you're as happy as you're pretending to be.

"And you left him, just like that?"
"It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye." "
"Supposing you do still love them?"
"You don't leave."
"You've never left someone you still love?"
"Nope."

All I do is quote 'Closer' lately, but geez, that's movie's so fucking relevant.

Can I please just crawl under the covers with an endless supply of books and chocolate milk and only come out when I stop feeling like this constantly?

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

It's depressing how much the song "Go the Distance" from Hercules relates to my life.

Nossa aula de química na sexta-feira.

Exploding things, yay!

Reparem no sotaque do interior do meu professor quando ele fala "calor". :)

Obama talks about the recent suicides that have happened; my respect for him has definitely increased after I saw this.

[Mari and I were at a japanese restaurant with my dad.]

Me: Olha Mari, *points to menu* "and we shed what was left of our salmon skin."

Mari: ...Nice.

This is why I love my sister.

I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after

Going to my friends' houses and seeing them interact with their families makes me appreciate my family much more and be thankful that we're not boring.

Interviewer: Why can’t you be alone without Yoko?

John Lennon: But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There's no reason on Earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I'm not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn't work. I don't want to be a swinger. I've been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.

You wanted to take me to the aquarium. I nodded, even though the idea terrified me. Maybe it was the tunnels where you looked up and could see fish around you or the louds crowds in there or how claustrophobic it was in there. Nonetheless, I let you hold my sweaty hand and pull me through, telling me childhood anecdotes and sharing interesting information about the fish there.

"Let's go see the otters, they're my absolute favorite!" you said, turning back at me, pulling me through the group of five-year olds there on a school trip. I could feel something pressing down on my lungs, the air escaping from my body.

I gasped helplessly, but you couldn't hear me. I squeezed your hand, hoping you would turn around, but you continued pulling me through the dark.

I wrapped my skinny arms around my shivering frame while you continued blabbering about the time so and so went with you to the zoo and something or other happened and how it was hilarious.

I had no choice but to suffocate.

-

I don't know.

Então me abraça forte e diz mais uma vez
Que já estamos distantes de tudo
Temos nosso próprio tempo

I miss things that haven't even happened yet.

Michael: Oh, why do I feel like crap?
Jim: You just had a rebound.
Michael: I had a rebound.
Jim: Yeah. Which, don’t get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction, but, when it’s over, you’re left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.

Current Playlist

Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths

The One Who Got Away - Katy Perry

Bohemian Rhapsody - Glee cast

Jigsaw Falling Into Place - Radiohead

Heart-Shaped Glasses - Marilyn Manson

Curse of the Curves - Cute is What We Aim For

Just a Girl - No Doubt

Tempo Perdido - Legião Urbana

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Elephant Gun - Beirut

Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance

Zephyr Song - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramore

Renegades of Funk - Rage Against the Machine

How very Vicky of me, yes? :)

Late at night I'm just a girl,
Guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes

The 90's were so cool.

Reasons why you should just leave:

SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE.

basically.

Blua (it feels weird to call him by his name and not his URL and that would just be confusing to me) just sent me the cutest tumblr inbox message and called me 'angel'.

SHDFJJSKDFHKSJDHFKSJDHFJSDHFKSJDHFKSJDHFKSJDHFKSDJFHKSDJHFS

This is very very exciting for me, he's my favorite person on Tumblr.

oh wow.

EDIT:

I AM NOW FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH HIM.

"Alice, tell me something true."

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, but it's better if you do."

Nem sei

Quero escrever sobre mãos, sobre amores em supermercados, sobre aquários. Meu caderninho com sua capa preta e letra de sambas, o caderninho que originalmente era pra ser pra eu não perder inspiração, virou o que eu uso quando minha mente não consegue concentrar na aula. Aliás, faz tempo que não fico rabiscando no meu caderno. Talvez porque agora vou só vou ter prova de redação pra ter aquela última semana infernal de provas e estou ciente que preciso estudar muito, especialmente porque é provável que eu pegue recuperação anual em matemática e química. Como se pegar recuperação já não fosse shameful o suficiente, o foda de recuperação anual é que é uma prova de 10 questões da matéria do ano inteiro. Eu não lembro o que eu almocei ontem, como é que vou lembrar o que estávamos estudando no começo do ano? Essa escola me cansa.

Hoje fui no festival de MPB da escola com as minhas três melhores amigas. Aliás, acho meio estranho chamar ela das minhas melhores amigas porque não temos muito relacionamento de melhores amigas, mas acho que são a coisa mais perto que tenho aqui and that's good enough. Enfim, o festival foi bem legal. Eu amo ser brasileira. Eu tava sentada lá ouvindo pessoas da minha idade cantarem músicas do Chico Buarque, Roberto Carlos, Paralamas do Sucesso, Titãs, Legião Urbana e me deu uma sensação tão boa em estar lá, de estar presenciando aquilo. Não que as performances foram espetaculares (algumas foram, né) mas porque, além de eu admirar qualquer pessoa com talento, provavelmente devido a minha falta total de talento, mas todas as músicas eram tão tão boas. Sei lá, eu não consigo explicar o que eu sentia naquele auditório, mas I just felt infinite and good to be there. Tinha uma menina que cantou 'Erva Venenosa' da Rita Lee e ela ficava dançando e rebolando enquanto ela cantava e eu juro que fiquei rindo o tempo total da música e quando eu tentava parar de rir, eu via que a Rafa ou a Bruna ou a Dani tavam rindo ainda e continuava rindo.

Sou uma pessoa noturna, funciono melhor de noite e madrugada, queria ter alguém com quem conversar nessas horas em que estou sociável e feliz. Estou ouvindo Karma Police do Radiohead e sou a única pessoa acordada da casa porque todo mundo tem que acordar cedo amanhã e ainda estou com a roupa que coloquei antes de ir pra casa da Bruna e minha barriga ainda está meio pesada do yakisoba e sushi que comi com as minhas amigas e não sei, me deu vontade de escrever e já que isso raramente acontece, acho que essas oportunidades shouldn't go to waste.

(Geralmente eu pediria desculpa por escrever um post tão pessoal and whatever, mas ninguém lê meu blog anyways, então deixa pra lá.)

.

Being able to fall asleep in less than an hour and a half is the most I've accomplished today.

I don't know what more depressing; that or that I'm actually happy I was able to sleep.

You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

Looking for Alaska ; John Green

Relevant.

Definite 'Swiss Family Robinson' vibes.

I miss August.

And I can't sleep without your breathing

And I can't breathe each time you're leaving

.

"You think love is simple. You think the heart is like a diagram."

"Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood."

Why is love never enough?

Well, everyone's sad.

I have a feeling I've posted this before. Or maybe it was another 'Girl, Interrupted' screen cap. Oh well.

Baby Lu dances ballet. I'm the second one from left to right. I just found this picture on Facebook :)

.

Mari: Cara, meu celular tá uma bostinha.

Eu: Quê? Your face?

Mari: ...Fuck you.

I love my sister.

"Both of us have a lot of feelings we need to get out in the open. So if you want to take those feelings and smash somebody with them, smash me. Then we can understand each other better."

I started reading 'Norwegian Wood' by Haruki Murakami this weekend and I'm in love with it, I want to carry it with me all the time and hug it. I think the last book I liked as much was 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'.

"I can't see anything that I don't like about you."
"But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me."
"Okay."
"Okay."

Uma Paulista Chamada Avenida

Ou é uma menina chamada Paulista? Isso, uma garota confusa, agitada, que brilha nas retinas dos paulistas, dos ecolá aos arigatô. Uma avenida tão dialética que, na hora do rush, as pessoas que vão a pé andam mais rápido do que as que vão de rodas. Homens, mulheres e minorias andam sobre seu ventre moreno, cospem em seus poros e excitam seu corpo exposto, faça chuva, faça sol. Na cabeça, a mentalidade dela: a Sears. Uma menina muito consumista, cheia de coisas, mas fraca de conteúdo. Nos pés, a decadência, o Ponto 4, mosquito e mosqueteiro. No centro, bem no centro, ali ó, a região pélvica. O Trianon plumoso, suas babás sensuais, velhos, bichas, meninos e meninas saindo do Dante, pipocas com cocotas, bobocas como eu, moços bons para dar uma bola, árvores tão densas que não dá pra jogar bola, cheirar cola, Coca-Cola, Kibon. Tá bom.

[...] Em cada cem habitantes paulistanos, 15 são viciados em fliperama. É a cidade da máquina, do digital, da tomada. Meninos e meninas, velhos impotentes, a Paulicéia delira apertando botõezinhos, fazendo a bolinha subir. E ela sobe, derruba um "extra" e sobe outra. Não deixa ela cair, ô cara, cuidado com o "tilt". [...] É a contradição do sistema, onde os felizardos serão os futuros infelizes desta mal-educada nação, pobre problema que não depende da magia da avenida. E é com má educação que o paulistano não respeita os black postes da menina. Todos forrados de cartazes: vende-se, show, luta, eu quero ser alguém. Mas essa sujeira eu até acho uma boa, e a menina também gosta. O mundo precisa de manifestos, de letras, de apresentações. Pô, ele nos dá tanto de graça e de inspiração, por que nóis vai ficá parado, hein? Beijos para o mundo, beijos para Porto Seguro, para Arembepe, para a avenida Niemeyer, para o Maracanã. [...] Dá-lhe menina, dá-lhe minha amante. Beijos na sua calçada deste cara que admira você.

Feliz Ano Velho ; Marcelo Rubens Paiva