I should upload more than I should.

Eu nunca sei o que escrever aqui, eu tenho preguiça, I think no one cares about what I write mas eu ainda sinto a necessidade de postar, sabe? Então here goes, I'm going to write everything I'm feeling and what I've been thinking about lately. 

I'm cold. As much as I like this city, I don't get why it's so cold. 

Eu acho o layout do meu blog muito pedreiro. 

My hands are freezing. 

I love the color of my nails, this is by far my favorite color yet.

I am so so sick of my songs, they all annoy me. 

I'm super nervous about Monday. 

My cat keeps crying, I don't know why and it's really annoying me. 

I miss André so much. 

I can't believe this is how I'm going to spend the last Saturday of vacation. FAIL. 

I want to eat but I'm not particularly hungry, I'm just bored. 

I want a best friend. 

I don't want André to go to France because although I know he really wants to, I'm so scared of not having him around next year. 

I would be really lonely if I didn't have Vicky. 

I'm scared that I'm going to change who I am. 

Some days, I hold so many feelings in that I feel like I'm going to explode. 

I'm obsessed with Twitter. I just don't update as much as I should because people would think I had no life. 

I hate feeling so upset and ksdjhasdhad and it's such a typical teenager thing to feel

I hate people who are awesome in real life but totally boring on MSN. Or people that are super annoying on MSN but nice in real life (quem será, Vicky??? hahaha) 

I love the song "Andy, You're a Star", it makes me so happy, but the Andy I know isn't a star :( it kind of ruins the song for me. 

It bugs me when people talk to you on MSN just because they're bored but we have nothing to talk about. 

Today, when I was in the movies by myself, I felt the floor start to shake and I got really scared, thinking it was an earth quake and I was alone so I sent a message to André saying that I loved him. 

I'm just recording a track for all the bitches out there, shaking their ass like they just don't care. (: 

I think I might've become one of those girls who don't have friends because they hang out with their boyfriend all the time. 

I miss Bernie :( and it bothers me that he seems to not care at all about us. 

I miss The Gang and how things were so simple before

Quero ir pra Disney. Scratch that, quero amigas com quem ir pra Disney. 

I'm in the mood to watch Disney movies. (: 

Eu ia sair do computador and make a collage mas aí a Vicky entrou. to ruin all my collage fun. hahaha

Is it me or do all John Mayer songs sound the same? I like them, but yknow, just saying. 

Só isso. Falou ae galere

Home is where you heart is

As she sat in traffic, surrounded by tall, grey buildings, she breathed happily. She was home.

---

Pensei nisso enquanto tava dirigindo em São Paulo esses dias, short and random. 

Sério, tudo que eu queria era ficar deitada fazendo nada com o André em um lugar quentinho. Pra quê morar nessa cidade tão fria? ¬¬ 

Wow, a sua coxa vibra???? JEALOOOUS.

Well, if this post is for you, you'll immediately know by the title and picture. You're the one looking away and i'm the one looking lost haha obviously. Beibi, tem dias depois de sessões de desabafo and mockery com você que eu penso, "wow, como que eu aguentei tanto tempo sem você na minha vida antes?" You're so amazing and hilarious, I love how you immediately know what I mean and how we both laugh at the same things. Whether it's getting annoyed at that one person and his make-believe girlfriend for being whiny or making silly videos on facebook, you are the one person who never annoys me and who, no matter how annoying i'm being, will help me and support me, even if you do tease me a lot haha (: Who would've thought that by talking to that girl on Bernie's status would lead to this, hein? I'm pretty sure we've met in some past life or something, I've never met someone who I just clicked with, sabe? Anyways, obrigada por tudo Vicky, por ser a razão que eu posto aqui (and for being the only reader), for the advice, for not calling me mean when i tell you evil jokes, for making me laugh always, for being who i talk to on friday nights when i'm bored, for loving reality shows as much as i do, for just being completely awesome (: I love you e eu fico tão feliz que mesmo com você moving away, nothing will change! (:

And here is our first conversation which is pretty funny but sad because i say that i'm going to BRAMUN and i didn't. fail hahaha. 

Ber Bernie Gugelmin wants vacation, too tired

December 8, 2008 at 6:31pm · Comment · Like

Victoria Sönksen at 6:39pm December 8, 2008

OMG me too!

 Luiza Siqueira at 6:57pm December 8, 2008

bernie. just 7 days of school left. okay, 6 cuz the last day is field day which doesn't count. :)

Victoria Sönksen at 6:59pm December 8, 2008

hahahah and truth be told, in this last week of school, no-one REALLY does anything

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:00pm December 8, 2008

yeah not really, for monday we already have a test and a project due.

Victoria Sönksen at 7:01pm December 8, 2008

OUCH
thats not nice

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:01pm December 8, 2008

i know, ninth grade sucks.

Victoria Sönksen at 7:01pm December 8, 2008

i have a "test" on monday.. era pra ser hj mas o prof esqueceu
bet hes going to forget again

Victoria Sönksen at 7:01pm December 8, 2008

i liked 8th grade
life was so much easier

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:02pm December 8, 2008

i know! i totally regret complaining about middle school. eramos felizes e nem sabiamos.

Victoria Sönksen at 7:04pm December 8, 2008

AFFF e quando we were like 5th graders and we'd complain about a HOMEWORK
aí hj we'd kill to have that hw
imagina when we're seniros
i bet were going to look back at this and think: wow life was good in the 9th grade

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:06pm December 8, 2008

i know, i'm scared of being a senior hahaha

Victoria Sönksen at 7:07pm December 8, 2008

I'm scared of even moving on to 10th grade!!
tipo eu nem vou estar mais aqui

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:08pm December 8, 2008

yeah eu também, i'm going to a brazilian school after 9th grade and i'm scared it's gonna be even harder but at least there's no IB so i'm good haha :)

Victoria Sönksen at 7:09pm December 8, 2008

hahah
eu vou prum outro british school
so yeah... n vou fazer IB vou fazer A-levels

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:10pm December 8, 2008

(acabei de lembrar no monte de notifications que o bernie vai ter quando ele entrar hahaha)

Victoria Sönksen at 7:11pm December 8, 2008

hahahahaaha
tadinho mermo
vou dormir
beijooos
btw: vc é irmã da Mari né?

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:14pm December 8, 2008

sorry berniiiie. 

beijooos*

yeah! haha e vc é a irmã da debbie né? que cool, nossas irmãs se conhecem :) ah e vc faz MUN né? eu vou ir pra conferência de angra :D

Ber Bernie Gugelmin at 7:18pm December 8, 2008

thanks for all of the notifications guys

 Luiza Siqueira at 7:23pm December 8, 2008

just because we love you

Victoria Sönksen at 3:08pm December 9, 2008

hahahahaha
yesss
mas sim, lu, vc é delegate ou parte do journalism thing?

 Luiza Siqueira at 3:45pm December 9, 2008

journalism!

Victoria Sönksen at 3:46pm December 9, 2008

im going to apologize previously to bernie for all the notifications u will continue to get
ANYWHOOO
queria mto fazer journalism mas só curitiba pode je pense

 Luiza Siqueira at 3:48pm December 9, 2008

wait a sec, i'm adding you so bernie wont get mad at me for all the notifications haha

Victoria Sönksen at 3:50pm December 9, 2008

be my gueest
mais facil MSN né?

I can see your halo halo halo halo (:

Sabe when you listen to songs and you think "yeah, I know what you mean"? Então, lately eu tou muito feeling "Halo" da Beyonce, so here are the lyrics. If I mean this to you, you know who you are. Te amo <3 

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

It feels like lately every conversation I have is super awkward and uncomfortable. Is it me or is it them? 

-

Can you leave things without titles? I'm a n00b, at this, unfortunately. Ah, well.

I have a terrible habit. I stalk. Okay, maybe not stalking, I don't follow people or spy through their windows or anything like that. But I can spend hours on a stranger's profile on orkut, looking at their picture, seeing their scraps, reading their depoimentos, trying to figure out their lives. And one of these days, I started to question why I do this and it's probably because I'm a curious person. I like imagining people's lives. When I'm in the car, I look out and I see everyone walking past and I wonder, "where are they going? what are they feeling?". It's funny how I imagine people's lives based on what I see on their profile. I usually do this with people in the PostSecret community, because lately, not many people have been posting anonymously and I feel like I know them, yknow? Because I see pictures of them and I see their secrets and many times I find that I like the same movies or bands as some of them. It's weird, I'm not sure if this is really the kind of thing I should be writing but whatever.

Truth be told, I should be writing about something else that I have got to get off my chest, but I'm worried about possible repercussions if I tell what I feel here. So I'll just probably wait for Vicky to go online and I'll talk to her haha. 

And here's just a question I've been thinking about these days: If you're in a relationship that isn't good for you and you're not happy, should you end it? 

I'll appreciate any feedback I can get and thanks for reading, always. (: 

Lists

I happen to LOVE making lists. and i'm bored. so here goes. 

Things That I'm Scared Of: 

• Kids in scary movies
  
• Long empty corridors
  
• Rapists
  
• Walking by myself at night on the street
  
• Failure
  
• People dressed as animals
  
• Evil clowns
  
• Bugs. anything that's creepy crawlie, actually
  
• Being stuck in a really small space by myself
  
• Losing people I love
  
• Being alone
  
• Really tall places
  
• Fire 
  
• Horses
  
• Really deep water and/or really strong waves
  
• Natural disasters
  
• Losing everything and everyone I have
  
• Growing old
  
• Hearing weird songs when I'm home alone
  
• Needles
  
• Creepy dolls
  
• Losing one or more of my senses 
  

Things that I hate:

• Grammar/spelling mistakes
• People that always wear the same outift
• Slow internet
• People who think they're total bad asses just because they smoke pot
• People who wear flip flops EVERYWHERE
• Jennifer Coolidge. She's just horrible. 
• The Big Bang Theory (the TV show, not the actual theory haha)
• Close-minded people who want others to have the same beliefs as them
• That car comercial that starts with "E você, aonde quer estar daquí a 5 anos?"
• Spending too much time in nature without electricity, working bathroom and internet
• Couples that don't have lives apart from each other
• People who don't have a sense of humor
• People with no personality
• When people that are stupid say bullshit to appear to be intelligent
• Fake people
• Boys that cheat
• Washing dishes that have yogurt or feijão on them
• When people have too many albums on orkut
• People that make accounts on things [facebook,orkut, twitter, etc.] but never use it
• People that don't respond texts
• When you're online on a saturday night and NO ONE is online because they're out having fun
• Being excluded/rejection
• Feeling ugly
• Poofy hair (mine, especially)
• Complainers
• People who attempt to be intellectual but FAIL
• When after something funny happens, someone else repeats the entire funny dialogue. It's like "yeah, we remember, it happened seconds ago"
• Self centered people
• People who think they suffer when they actually don't
• Whiny people
• Babies crying
• Discrimination in general 
• Snobs
• When people i don't know that well act like they're my bestfriend and want to know personal stuff about me
• Nosy people

That's it for today. Thanks for taking time and reading this. (: