31.5.10
I sent you a message telling you how I couldn't wait to see you and you basically ignored me.
Oh sure, it's your decision if you want to be mad at me about something stupid that happened almost a year ago, that's cool.
I don't know, it's just weird having a completely different set of friends than I did a year ago and how I'm not close to any of them anymore.
30.5.10
29.5.10
There's a girl in my grade who looks like Katrina de Voort, from Juno.
I see her a lot and she always looked familiar and today I finally figured out who she looks like.
Okay haha, yeah, just saying.
28.5.10
27.5.10
THIS. [I tried to put it here but stupid copyright infringement wouldn't let me, nbd.]
Mena Suvari, get at me.
This song used to be my LAIF when I was like 10 and it made me think that being a teenager was awesome. I'm a teenager now and the song is still epic.
26.5.10
I say I wanna talk, you tell me that your schedule's hectic, that you're way too busy, that I don't understand how things are for you.
Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe I want to talk because thing have been weird for me and I want to talk to my friend and not because I want to hear about your fabulous life?
But it's fine, if you can't make time for me in your life, I don't even want to be in it anymore.
Even though I'm unsure if I was even in it to start with.
25.5.10
On Tumblr at almost midnight
GOD DAMN IT LUIZA, WILL YOU NEVER GO TO SLEEP?
Okay, so last night I went to sleep around midnight, part;y because I stayed up reading, partly because I was on Tumblr, and partly because I spent some time watching TV with my family. Anyways, this morning I woke up thinking it was 6:30 (time I usually wake up) but then I looked at my watch and saw it was only 5:00. So then I was like "Score! I have an hour and a half to sleep!" I went back at sleep and woke up at 6:55. That's usually the time I leave the house, considering my class starts at 7:10. So then I rush to put some clothes on and grab my make-up and stuff to fix my hair in the car. I go downstairs and my dad's like "Hey, haven't you had breakfast?" and then I answer that I kind of just woke up. He frowns at me and goes to check something on his phone. My dad has those kind of Blackberry phones, though it's not really a Blackberry, but he works off it. I fix my hair in the bathroom downstairs and it's 7:05. My dad is still checking his phone in the living room, apparently oblivious to how late I am. Since I'm not going to get there before the second bell rings, I go into the kitchen. My dad shows up in the door and says, "Breakfast?". So I just ate my breakfast and missed first period, no big deal. My dad is apparently really into us having breakfast, he gets worried when we don't eat anything in the morning.
23.5.10
22.5.10
21.5.10
19.5.10
18.5.10
Marcus: Yeah, and then I was walking home after the party and there was a hobo standing near the garage staring at me. And I was like "Oh shit!" and I ran home.
Me: You ran? You know, you really shouldn't do that. Hobos can smell fear.
Marcus: You know what's a funny saying?
Me: What?
Marcus: Duct tape your butt hole.
Me: ...Did you make that up?
Marcus: Yes *start laughing a lot* I was just in class and I thought of that and I couldn't stop laughing and people kept asking me why I was laughing and I was like "oh, nothing."
Me: ...It is pretty funny.
Marcus: I mean, like, imagine someone duct taping your butt hole! It's hilarious!
Me: Ui, I don't even want to imagine that.
Marcus: But I know you just did! Don't deny it, you n00b. I own you, n00b.
Marcus is the highlight of my days, he's just so awesome.
17.5.10
Hanging out behind the club on the weekends
Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends
I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour
I rememeber that it's the first time that I saw her there
She's getting kicked out of school cause she's failing
I'm kinda nervous, cause I think all her friends hate me
She's the one, she'll always be there
She took my hand and I made it I swear
Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends
I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour
I rememeber that it's the first time that I saw her there
She's getting kicked out of school cause she's failing
I'm kinda nervous, cause I think all her friends hate me
She's the one, she'll always be there
She took my hand and I made it I swear
Sometimes I wish my life was a Blink-182 song.
16.5.10
"Hey, why are you crying?"
"It's just this song. Whenever I listen to it, it makes my heart swell with all this emotion in the lyrics and the memories of all the times I've listened to this song, y'know?"
"Then stop listening to it if it makes you cry!"
"No, no, you don't get it. I mean, it's a good kind of sad. Whenever I listen to this song, it's like it's okay to be sad. It just makes me know that I am alive, it makes me so aware of everything I'm feeling. I know, it sounds stupid to have to cry in my room to know that I'm alive but there's not enough things that make me feel like that."
-
asuhdsahdjashdaisudh I don't even know.
"What do you want to happen?" Martha asked. "Seriously."
I wanted to be the person Cross told things to. I want him to think I was pretty, I wanted him to be reminded of me by stuff I liked - pistachios and hooded sweatshirts and the Dylan song "Girl from the North Country" - and I wanted him to miss me when we were apart. I wanted him to feel, when we were lying in bed together, like he couldn't imagine anywhere better.
Prep - Curtis Sittenfeld.
15.5.10
Okay, so there's this guy in my class who is kind of cute. I mean, he's so not my type, but he's not ugly or anything. Anyways, all the girls drooool over him and think he's super hot or whatever and he's always being flirty with these girls. Then his sister, who's also in our class, told someone that he liked this random girl who is super childish and thinks boys have cooties, stuff like that. Anyways, as it turns out, he doesn't actually like anyone, but he just flirts with every girl because he'd hook up with any of us. Personally, I thought this seemed kind of slutty and made me like him alot less. But it's just that if a girl was like "Okay, I'm going to flirt with all the guys and I'll hook up with him!" she'd be considered a slut and everyone thinks this guy is such a stud. Which is so stupid, I mean, it makes it seem like guys don't actually have any feelings and they don't fall in love, they're just interested in flirting and hooking up with random meaningless girls.
Okay, I don't know what my point in this little story was, this just made a lot more sense in my head than when I tried to write it down.
On a sort of related note, there's a girl in my class who looks like the donkey from Shrek.
PS: This is me showing that I have not traded Tumblr for Blogspot. :]
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”
Found on Tumblr, thought I should post it here too because I just thought it was pretty accurate.
13.5.10
11.5.10
10.5.10
First lines of unfinished poems/stories.
The moths danced around the shower as the warm water washed away the chaos and bad decisions of the past night.
I hated that song, but it sounded beautiful when you sang it with your eyes closed and your hair in your face.
PS: I thought of these a couple of days ago but then wasn't inspired enough to actually write something. Meh.
9.5.10
Not a vlog either!
I found this randomly, this is me and my friends trying to record a video for some project. This is in my room, by the way :] The one in the middle is Isa, the one on the right is Maressa - who I hate - and the one standing up is Erika. :]
8.5.10
I made a tumblr and that's the reason why my blogspot has been kind of neglected. The link is here. :]
7.5.10
It's one thing to not want to talk to me when you're upset and it's a completely different thing when I come talk to you and you're unnecessarily rude to me for no reason and then assume your bitchiness is acceptable just because you had "a weird day". Don't take your issues out on me, I'm just trying to help you.
6.5.10
Random ass old pictures
Aww, me and Em with our BFF picture haha, que saudades. We'd ride the bus home together and there was this super creepy bus driver and a bunch of obnoxious asian kids with smelly salgadinhos and we'd listen to our iPods :] ISC uniforms FTW!
I don't know what's funnier about this picture: Em holding a cup of beer, Katie touching her butt, Florence's hat or how awkward it is that I was wearing pants and a dress.
Math has always been an issue with me, haha. This picture was after the summer, hence my tererê and the tan. Unhas bem-feita é para os fracos.
At my old apartment watching Lost. Also notice my "imaaaaginary muffin!" face and the big-ass camera haha.
My first year in Brasil! Só pra mostrar que a Em é parceira desde sempre :] E ui, estou uma monstrinha nessa foto, haha.
Essa foto é a coisa mais WTF da minha vida. Pamella, eu e Marília somos BEXTYS. For those of you who don't know, Marília moved to a brazilian school and started smoking pot and thinking she was better than all of us and Pamella is a slut. Nuff said. Giulia is there too and she is nice, haha :]
We were in this school play and this is us getting ready in the bathroom. Why Stephy has a gun and why Em and I are hanging from the walls is beyond me.
Em's 13th birthday party! Oh and hi, Julia.
Sleepovers at Stephy's were always the best! This is the time that we went to the supermarket and we bought a shitload of candy and chocolate but then we mixed it all in the same bowl and everything tasted terrible, haha. Then we watched The Ring and Chris, her older brother, kept calling the house phone and we kept screaming. Then the next morning we played Wii and it was super new and awesome and we kept laughing because the game narrator had a ridiculous voice, haha.
This is probably the ugliest picture of me ever. This is on my 12th birthday. Notice how I thought I was such a rebel because the tips of my hair were purple and because I was wearing a Blink-182 t-shirt.
Haha, awkwardest picture ever? I don't even know.
Me + Bowling = epic fail. Funny shoes, though!
5.5.10
Heeey guys. So at my school, there's this project where you have to make a music video and it's a big deal and people take it really seriously and there's this awards ceremony for it and everything. Since you all have sort of similar tastes in music, as me I'd like to know if you guys have any song recommendations! We were thinking something sort of upbeat, like "Mushaboom" by Feist or "Kiss With a Fist" by Florence and the Machines. Ideally, it'd be song sung by a woman because we're going to have to lip-synch. So yeah, any ideas would be very much appreciated :]
Hey you!
I wish I were young enough, I wish you were made just for me!
You're on my mind more than I'd like you to be.
4.5.10
I woke up with a start, sitting up in bed. I sat there in my oversized shirt ad whie underwear, listening close to the sounds of the empty house. I waited a few minutes then lay back down, letting my muscles relax. I drifted off to sleep, not quite shaking off the feeling that someone else was in the house When I woke u a couple of hours later, he was standing there. I blinked at him, perplexed, wondering if this was just something m weary mind had imagined. He sat down on the edge of my bed, the springs squealing under his weight. We regarded each other in the darkness of the room, unsure of what to do. I had spent sleepless nights wondering what you were doing, hoping he'd clamber through my window and kiss me like he used to. It had been a rough couple of months after you had decided that I was "too much to handle", as you so kindly put it, and left. It wasn't like he had just stopped calling, he literally disappeared. One sunny afternoon, I stopped by his apartment to drop off a box of T-shirts, DVDs, magazines and other random things he had left at my house. His landlord told me that you had left suddenly and was surprised that I didn't know where you had gone. Yeah, I was surprised too. I think it was soon after I had heard that he was gone that I fell into a downward spiral. I kept convincing myself that if I did things I normally wouldn't do, he'd come back. I stopped eating, telling myself that if I were skinnier and prettier, he'd come back. I took out my pain on my skin with the aid of my trusty razor hidden inside my old yearbooks. I did everything I could have done to have make him come back, to show him how wrecked I was without him. He never came. Which is why the image of his skinny body on my bed sent my thoughts into a turmoil. Without saying anything, I scooted over, throwing back the covers, my eyes giving him permission to get in with me, to press his warm body aginst mine, to hold me in his arms. You peeled off your jacked and sweather and then your jeans and rested your body against mine in your striped underwear. We lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling. That's when I heard him crying. I glanced over and he was sobbing, his large hands pressed against his face. I huddled close to his shaking body, attempting to offer some comfort. He pulled me close to his chest and your warm arms enveloped me. I put my hands in your hair and before I even realized it, tears were streaming down my own cheeks. He kept apologizing, his strangled words breaking my already fragile heart. We lay there, our bodies tangled, our tears mixing together. I tiled my chin up and kissed your chin, your stubble tickling me. You kissed my lips slowly then lifted up my arms to kiss the scars that decorated my wrists.
"You're going to be okay, baby. I'm not going anywhere this time," he whispered into my hair.
And this time I knew you really did mean it.
-
Productive history class (?).
3.5.10
I want to apologize for being so awkward. I know that it takes guts to tell someone how you're feeling and it makes me happy that you picked me. I am so sorry that I do such a shitty job at making you feel better, but please know that I care. I will listen and support you and hug you, even if I don't know what to say. I am here for you, despite my social inadequacy.
1.5.10
Success!
Yay, it worked! This wasn't the one I was going to post earlier, I made this one like half an hour ago, haha. At the end the computer froze, by the way haha sorry and I didn't want to make a new one.
Okay, so apparently technology is seriously conspiring against me because yesterday I made 5 attempts at making a video and they just wouldn't work, Mac wouldn't let me record the whole thing and it just sucked. So last night I made a good version and I tried posting it but it was being super slow and it just wouldn't go so I just went to sleep. Today, while I was morgando in the afternoon, I made an okay-ish video and tried uploading it. It just doesn't go. I've been trying since like 8 PM. It's past midnight now. What the hell, man? And then I went out to dinner and came back and it still hadn't worked! I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BLOGSPOT.
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