-

Your finger tips feel like ice on my skin and you mumble apologies when I shiver

It's alright, they're actually caused by how familiar this feels

And I know there are still orange lipstick marks on your bones

Your voice on the phone last night made me cry

And you heard my voice trembling on the other side and you didn't ask why

To be honest, I wouldn't be able to answer you accurately

You learned lovely sentences in foreign languages and whispered them into my braided hair

I helped you dye your hair green in my cracked bathtub and you pretended to like it

The first enjoyable birthday I had was when you bought me cupcakes and a plastic crown

You were the one that noticed how green my eyes turn when I cry

and I was the one who showed you your favorite song and wrote the lyrics on your skin

(Not that any of that would make a difference now)

I shut my eyes and kissed you, despite the angry protests creating turmoil in my head.

-

I don't really know what this is. I guess I've just been wanting to write something for a while now.

sigh.

I miss kissing you on deck chairs when there's nobody around.

I watched Into the Wild tonight. This week has been particularly bad and I was really, really glad I watched something inspiring. I've just been feeling so trapped and, I don't know, Christopher McCandless' story is so beautiful and it's true and it was just what I needed, and although this wasn't the first time I watched the movie, I felt like this time was more significant, probably due to how I've been feeling. And during parts, I would cry or my eyes would tear up and it just felt nice crying about something good for a change and especially since I was watching the movie by myself, I didn't have to explain why I was crying. Whenever I watch movies that move me this much, I always feel the urge to write about them but they always come out so inarticulate and wrong. The amount of influence movies has over me never ceases to me. Okay, yeah. Happiness is only real when shared.

This is so 2006.

"Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset."

-

“Afterwards, she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I want. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I’m afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.”

Water for Elephants ~ Sara Gruen

I found this today while I was looking through baby pictures. :)

I'll be your winter coat, buttoned and zipped straight to the throat, with the collar up so you won't catch a cold.

This song is lovely and my sister has been singing it all day

Coração não é tão simples quanto pensa

Nele cabe o que não cabe na dispensa, cabe o meu amor

Cabem três vidas inteiras, cabe uma penteadeira

Cabe nós dois, cabe até o meu amor

Essa é a última oração pra salvar seu coração

---

Teenage boys are dumb.

Today, I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said: "When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold." Right, and then you'd just have a gold lemon. Great accomplishment.

.

It's too early in the year for it to be this cold.

Sluts

Wipe the sleep from my eyes and pour me another cup
I see what you've been trying to tell me all along
Shaving your head and handling me (so delicately)
With satin and lace:
You're a whore.

I didn't write this, but the other day I wrote something and it sounded really, really familiar to something else I'd read and then it turned out that it was this poem. I like this, despite where it's from (I used to read lame books when I was younger, don't judge).

*

Tender age in bloom.

“I don’t love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.”

—	Natalie Portman

*

It's your birthday today and I'm not sure why that makes me so sad.

(Happy 18th birthday, by the way.)

As it turns out, I still know all the lyrics to 'The Emo Song'...oh.

*

"How nice to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."

- Kurt Vonnegut

Feliz Dia das Mães!

Te amo muito, obrigada por tudo!

Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at

Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at

• I feel like I've been neglecting Placebo lately so I'm making up for it now. I wish I could put into words what the introduction of 'This Picture' makes me feel.
• Gian's internet crashed earlier so I tried making a gif of myself. This is the result, it's pretty bad.
• Today I decided that I want to have three kids and that the first tattoo I get is going to be placed on my foot.
• I finished 'Sputnik Sweetheart' last night and it's the fourth Haruki Murakami book I've read. Whenever I finish reading a book that I really liked, I always feel like hugging the author.
• I miss Vicky.
• I think it's pretty cool how a lot of people I know are going to be taking the SAT tomorrow morning in different parts of the world. Standardized tests are so organized. (Good luck to any of you taking it, by the way!)
• I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm scared that you're going to leave.
• I'm flirting with the idea of getting a nose ring. I probably won't because my parents are very much against piercings but I think they're cute. I've just been bored of my face and I want to change something. I'm also considering getting bangs and growing out my hair.
• I've been having issues with my sleep - in the sense that it takes me so long to fall asleep and when I sleep, I don't rest and when I wake up, I'm always so tired and it feels like I didn't actually rest. I don't know.
• I'd really like to meet someone new.
• I'm not going to school tomorrow.

I Googled this earlier today and then I forgot to delete it and I just noticed it in the search bar and started laughing. My life has turned into one big The Office reference.

*

And if you do have to leave, please try not to stray too far away.

Dear Veva, happy birthday! Eu sou meio awkward com essas coisas de aniversário mas enfim, vou keep it short aqui porque já te dei parabéns ao vivo, com uma cartinha e pelo facebook, haha. Saiba que eu te amo muito mesmo, you're such an inspiring person e eu sou muito sortuda mesmo em ter você como amiga. Esse é só o segundo de muitos aniversários que vamos comemorar juntas. :]

I've got some troubles but they won't last, I'm gonna lay right here in the grass and pretty soon, all my troubles will pass, 'cause I'm in su-su-su-su-su-sugartown...

“Do you think I’m wonderful?’ she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. ‘No’ he said. ‘Why?’ ‘Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it’s only noon. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are.”

—	Jonathan Safran Foer

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