I miss my mom. :(

You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness in the afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.

People who are mean to me for no reason and think that they are superior to me can go FUCK THEMSELVES WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SAND PAPERY.

Conversation I had these days with my friend Julia:

Julia: Pra quem que você ta mandando mensagem?

Eu: Ah, pro meu amigo de São Paulo.

Julia: O André?

Eu: Uhh não, o André tá na França.

Julia: Sério? Mas você não sente muita falta dele?

Eu: É, na verdade, agente terminou.

Julia: Meu deus, sééério?

Eu: Agente terminou em tipo Janeiro...

Julia: Mas você tá bem, guria?

Eu: Sim, guria, foi tipo em Janeiro, já tou em outra! haha

Julia: Aaah, ta bom então.

Me surpreendo em como as pessoas aqui não me conhecem, sério.

I don't know to play the guitar and my singing voice sucks, but I really want to play you a song.

:]

Meg is my favorite Disney princess, even if she isn't technically considered a Disney Princess.
She's the coolest.

"But wait, aren't you a damsel in distress?" "I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day!"

"she was the still point of the turning world."

I think everyone - and by everyone, I mean society and parents and all that jazz - are seriously overthinking this whole virginity thing. Seriously.

Expect one of those long ranting posts sometime soon.

I don't know what's going on right now, but it's not okay.

She felt long nails scratch her legs, her stomach, her arms while she wriggled to escape. She continued struggling through the dark waters, desperate to escape from the hands that pulled her, pushed her, hurt her. Her limbs ached and her head throbbed. All she wanted to do was to give in, just stop but she knew she couldn't. Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed hold of her arms and legs and threw her. She felt herself tumbling down, deeper into the darkness that swallowed her.

Thunder clapped and she opened her eyes, terrified. As she found herself in her dark room, the window open to show the rain hitting her window, she sighed with relief, her heart still beating fast. She relaxed her muscles and closed her eyes, but the hands were back. They wouldn't leave her alone and she was getting too tired to escape. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out of her parted lips.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay," she heard someone say. She opened her eyes and there he was. She threw her arms around him tightly and waited until her breath evened out. He sat there with her quietly, making hushing sounds and stroking her hair. They lay there, entwined, listening to the sound of their breathing and to the thunder rumbling outside.

-

Based on another dream I had this week.

This is one of those stories that would work out better as a scene in a movie.

I believe that lovers should be tied together,

Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather,

Left there to drown, left there to drown in their innocence

"And it also thrilled me, because it made the world seem full of possibilities that could make my heart pound. I think, looking back, that this was the sigle best thing about Ault, the sense of possibility. We lived together so closely, but because it was a place of decorum and restraint and because on top of that we were teenagers, we hid so much. And then, in dorms and classes and on teams and at formal dinner and in adviser groups, we got shuffled and thrust together and shuffled again, and there was always the chance that you might found out one of the pieces of hidden information. This was why I felt excited when life was different from normal, when things happened - snow and fire drills and the times we had chapel at night, evensong, when the sky outside the stained glass windows was black. Depending on circumstances, a wild fact could be revealed to you, or you could fall desperately in love. In my whole life, Ault was the place with the greatest density of people to fall in love with."

Prep - Curtis Sittenfeld.

coisas aleatórias [10]

Now playing: Landlocked Blues - Bright Eyes

:]

I just want to break you down so badly in the worst way.

My birthday is in 108 (Lost!) days.

I am very much excited for my birthday this year, though I know on the day I'll just be like "Okay, hours, please go by more quickly, kthanks". Maybe it's because for my birthday I shall go to São Paulo, even if my parents are against the idea, though there is no reason why they should be against it. I mean, I didn't get anything big for my 15th birthday and now, thanks to Vicky, I have somewhere to crash when I go. So, sucess! Plus, I'm pretty excited to spend my birthday with people I actually like rather than the losers here. No offense. I have also decided that at my next big birthday celebration, probably next year, will have balloons and cupcakes. That's all I'm asking for.

If you do sleep with her, I hope she gives you herpes or some other disgusting STD.

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... i n t e r r u p t e d.

When you don't want to feel... death can seem like a dream. But, seeing death - really seeing it... makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous.

Angelina Jolie is awesome. Psychiatric hospitals are interesting.

Movie win. :]

I don't care how cliché it is, this song is still fucking epic.

And then sometimes at night when I'm lying awake, it hits me: there's still so many books I still have to read, so many movies I have to watch, so many songs I still have to listen to, so many people I still have to meet, so many things I still have to experience and I'm so young and there's just not enough time to do everything I have to and want to do. The thought of living life with so much left to do is suffocating and overwhelming.

She carefully tiptoed into his room, her long fingers touching the walls, trying not to trip on all the books, shoes and clothes strewn on his cluttered floor. Slowly closing the door, she stood in front of the door, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. He has the habit of always leaving his Ipod playing while he slept and the soft music trickled out of the speakers. He rolled over in his sleep, oblivious to the presence of someone else in his room. She shrugged off her maroon dress and pulled off her sneakers and lay down beside him, hugging him tightly. He turned around and kissed her, still half-asleep.

"Hey you," he greeted. "I thought you'd only be here in the morning."

She grinned in the dark. "It's 4 in the morning, I'm just early!"

He kissed her again and the butterflies in her stomach went berserk. She wrapped her body around his and rested her head on his warm chest. Ba-bum, ba-bum. With his heartbeat in her ears and his warm arms around her, she could finally sleep now. God, how she had missed him.

-

Vaguely based on a random dream I had this week. Don't mind the ridiculous number of clichés, I'm just in a romantic mood.

Non-existent social life

I really don't know why we have a plastic princess crown at home.

This makes me sad because I have nothing that resembles this. I want this.

Except Miranda, she's gotta go.

:]

Songs that make me want to cry:

• Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie; Long distance relationships kill me. "I need you so much closer, so come on."

• Nicest Thing - Kate Nash; What's more heart breaking than being in love with someone who doesn't love you back? "Basically, I wish that you loved me, I wish that you needed me, I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three."

• Landslide - Smashing Pumpkins; "I'm afraid of changing because I've built my life around you." I just think this song perfectly sums up what I was feeling in January and I couldn't sleep and I just kept listening to this song by myself and crying and waiting for someone to realize that I wasn't okay.

• Blind - Placebo; You can just hear the desesperation, the amount of love, the sadness in Brian Molko's voice, it tears me up. "I'd fill your every breath with meaning."

• Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh - Bright Eyes; "You said you'd always be there, well, where are you now?" Oh, Conor, I relate so completely. His voice makes me cry most days, he puts so much emotion into every syllable, you just want to scream out the lyrics because they're so true, so true.

• You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol; There's nothing harder than letting go of someone you love. And I guess you just basically want the person you love to be happy, with or without you. In this case, without you. And you just think of everything that's happened, and everything you could've done to stop them from leaving and all of this sadness and this abandom just swells and you're lonely. I relate. "You could be happy, I hope you are, you've made me happier than I've been by far."

• Asleep - The Smiths; "Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go." I think this song requires no explication, except that I want you all to know that if anything happens to me, this song must play at my funeral.

Sadoquismo musical é uma beleza, hein.

And she looks at that man and she says, "Where are we going?" And he looks at her and says, "We're going to a party, it's a birthday party, it's your birthday party! Happy birthday, darling, we love you very very very much!" And he starts humming a little tune, it kind of goes like, like, a 1,2, a 1,2,3,4.

STOP USING THE WORD 'DEPRESSIVE' TO DESCRIBE EVERYTHING.

IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU SOUND SMARTER, IT JUST MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A DUMB-ASS.

If any boy played "Something" on his guitar for me, I'd easily fall in love.

Why are musicians so appealing?

"If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

You disappear at the most strategic times. Where are you now when I need you?

You are one of God's mistakes, you crying, tragic waste of skin.

coisas aleatórias [9]

Now playing: Pierrot the Clown - Placebo

:|

PS: This post had a whole lot more TV shows/movies references than usual, it's just the mood i'm in.

Whenever I start spending a certain amount of time not talking to people, I freak out and start to think that no one likes me. But then I read a book and things are okay again.

I think "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" is one of the best books ever written and all of you should read it. Or reread it if you've already read it.

Today I mentioned to my mom that I hadn't gained any weight since the last time I weighed myself (like 6 months ago), which made her start criticizing my inability to lose weight. Thanks for your support, mother, always.

coisas aleatórias [8]

Now playing: Sweet Disposition - Temper Trap

:]

You said you hate my suffering and you understood

And you'd take care of me, you'd always be there

Well, where are you now?

"I promise that one day, everything's going to be better for you."

- Donnie Darko

"I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other."

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower; Stephen Chbosky