I always feel a little weird about posting someone else's writing on my blog, but I liked this so much that I wanted to share (found on this lovely blog):

I loved it when you held my hand under the table. it was english class and when I first decided Lua was my favorite Bright Eyes song. you were such a liar but you hid it well, under oceans that I swam in for years. tied up in pretty purple ribbon that I didn’t want to tear.

I loved you in the darkroom. our knees and Dido, how nervous you made me. chemicals and film strips, pictures of you. blue eyes and blonde hair in black and white like the bathroom tiles we both cried on. bloody mary, backseats, secret language, Say Anything, wild horses, trips to Friendlys, icecream you never kept down. constant showers and your head in the toilet for days. I was always scared to death.

I loved it most when you mostly loved me. your laugh-lines and letters. handwriting I could barely read that was cracked and gross like my skin when I hated myself. “I love you til the ends of the universe, 3 times and back.” that time you cradled me like a child and let me sob. my knowledge of your uncertainty like splinters in wood. you loved me, you loved me not. picked all the petals off of me so no one else could. what was I supposed to do?

I loved you most in your despair—exhaustion. that night you fell into me like dead weight. a ton of bricks, a heap of cotton. your face spilling into my hands. I rocked you like a baby; I didn’t know anything. your body draped over your bathtub weeks later while I screamed my head off in my room; held my ears until I went deaf. because of me. because of you. the calm before and after the storm. you were drunk the last time I saw you—psychotic and scary. the splinter in wood; the tear in the ribbon. I won’t see you again.

never-ending and non-existent. I loved you so much.