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She checked her watch nervously. She had spent a while thinking about which watch to wear but instead of trying to look cool with her new pink one, she had settled with her old digital one, especially since she was worried someone would ask her the time and she wouldn't be able to read it since it wasn't digital. 7:00. It was weird to think of how early school was going to start. She looked down at her watermelon colored nails and bit the skin around her thumb. She was vaguely aware of the grown-up music her dad was listening to, but her mind was elsewhere. She was completely sleepy, but she thought of how in the afternoon she would be able to nap all she wanted. It's funny, her life was about to change and she was worried about sleeping. Typical.
"Nervous?" Her dad asked, looking over at her, staring down at her pink Converse. She smiled and shook her head. Ever since she was little, she hid her feelings from people and although she was shaking with nervousness, she felt the necessity to fake it. This school was way closer than her old school was. 'Well, at least I'll have a friend in my class,' she thought, trying to reassure herself. "Boys aren't going to help you at all! He's not that close to you anyways" her mother's voice echoed in her head. She shook her head and dug her nails into her sweaty palms. 'This is going to be okay,' she told herself.
The car swerved and she was soon onto the street. She looked and saw the tall building, the overwhelming thumbs-up symbol glancing at her. She swallowed as her dad parked the car.
"Do you want me to go inside with you?" Her dad asked her, nicely. The 5 year old in her desperately wanted to hug her dad, cry, and ask to go home where she could hide under her covers. She smiled and shook her head, knowing how weird she'd seem walking in with her dad. She kissed her dad on the cheek and slid out of the car, carrying her bag and a ton of insecurity on her back.
She walked towards the building. She stoppped outside the front doors, feeling her phone vibrate silently from her pocket. It was a text. "Amor, tenha um bom dia hoje, eu te amo, te vejo quando você sair!". She smiled to herself, thankful for having such an amazing boyfriend. She remembered how in a month he'd also be away from her, miles and miles away, living a life completely apart from hers. She swallowed back tears and thought of her friends in Florida, waking up to go to their school, and immediately wished she had someone else with her to hold her hand. She thought of her bestfriend in Spain and it made her happy to think that later that day, she'd rush to the computer and tell her everything about how her day had been and her friend would joke and give helpful advice, as usual.
She breathed in and walked in. After a quick conversation with administration, a friendly looking woman escorted her to her classroom. The hallways were a surreal blur of Nike Shox, highlighted straight hair, lipgloss and boys wearing hats and talking loudly. With her stomach in a knot, she walked to the class and pushed the door open, trying to appear confident. As she walked in, she watched, partly scared and partly interested, as 35 pairs of eyes looked at her. Some girls smiled, some people whispered. She stood there nervously, feeling self conscious about everything about her, about the way she was wearing dirty Converse, about her glasses, about her posture, about how she chose that day to wear more black than usual (they were probably thinking "what's up with the new emo kid?"
"Hey Lu!"
She suddenly saw her friend, standing up and looking at her, his goofy hair falling into his eyes. A wave of relief flooded her chest, she smiled at him and in that instant, she knew that things were going to be okay.
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1 comment:
guurl you the sweetest thing ever.
and p.s. i really want you to write a book, you write really well!
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