Marcus: Yeah, and then I was walking home after the party and there was a hobo standing near the garage staring at me. And I was like "Oh shit!" and I ran home.

Me: You ran? You know, you really shouldn't do that. Hobos can smell fear.

Marcus: You know what's a funny saying?

Me: What?

Marcus: Duct tape your butt hole.

Me: ...Did you make that up?

Marcus: Yes *start laughing a lot* I was just in class and I thought of that and I couldn't stop laughing and people kept asking me why I was laughing and I was like "oh, nothing."

Me: ...It is pretty funny.

Marcus: I mean, like, imagine someone duct taping your butt hole! It's hilarious!

Me: Ui, I don't even want to imagine that.

Marcus: But I know you just did! Don't deny it, you n00b. I own you, n00b.

Marcus is the highlight of my days, he's just so awesome.