Everything I Need To Know in Life I Learned from 'Mean Girls'

- It only counts if you see nipple
- She doesn’t even go here
- Gretchen’s father invented Toaster Strudel
- Happy Hour is from 4-6
- Janice’s wig is made of my mom’s chest hair
- Sear’s has clothes that 1-3-5 doesn’t have
- Where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial
- Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die
- Trang Pak is a grosky little byotch
- Gym practice can be held in the projection room above the auditorium
- It’s October 3rd
- You can’t just ask people why they’re white
- That black girl is from Michigan
- Glenn Coco is the fucking man
- Aston Kutcher isn’t a band
- You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
- You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
- On Wednesdays we wear pink
- When all else fails, get cheese fries
- A sub n equals n plus one over four
- Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends
- Mathlethes is social suicide
- Caller ID doesn’t work when it comes from *411
- Damien’s nana take’s her wig off when she’s drunk
- At a costume party, wear sultry lingerie and a pair of animal ears