And I guess the bad thing about bottling up your feelings is having a crying attack when you can't find your pen and wanting to cry, scream, complain to someone but not wanting to bother anyone. I know that it seems unfair that I say that I'm lonely but I don't actually have the guts to share my feelings with anyone. I just want someone to hug me, listen and not give comments like 'what the hell?' or 'you act like you suffer so much, but there are people out there with lives that are so much worse'. Anyways, yeah, I realized that I'm lonely and I feel like crying alot but it's no one's fault but my own.  

Disapointment and regret collide, lying awake at night. 

(I've been listening to Death Cab alot, they're quite nice :) )